Cheney Hospitalized - Bush Poised to Take Over as President if Need Be

Datamining Explosion Leaves 20 Intelligence Analysts Trapped

An explosion in a datamine set up by the Bush Administration to go through the phone calls and email messages of nearly all American citizens has left 20 Intelligence Analysts cut off from the rest of the Internet with no chance of reconnecting them until tomorrow. It is not known at this hour if they have enough data to survive this extended period. Spokesperson for the NSA, Mia Spook, said, “Recent cutbacks in datamining safety is to blame for the explosion severing the T3 connection that keeps life-giving data bits flowing to our dataminers. Most of these dataminers don’t see their families for days at time while they slave in the mines extracting raw intelligence ore to be processed into consumable presidential products for sale in the intel marketplace. Our hopes and prayers are with the dataminers and their families at this difficult time.” Amen.