Cheney Hospitalized - Bush Poised to Take Over as President if Need Be

Datamining Explosion Leaves 20 Intelligence Analysts Trapped

An explosion in a datamine set up by the Bush Administration to go through the phone calls and email messages of nearly all American citizens has left 20 Intelligence Analysts cut off from the rest of the Internet with no chance of reconnecting them until tomorrow. It is not known at this hour if they have enough data to survive this extended period. Spokesperson for the NSA, Mia Spook, said, “Recent cutbacks in datamining safety is to blame for the explosion severing the T3 connection that keeps life-giving data bits flowing to our dataminers. Most of these dataminers don’t see their families for days at time while they slave in the mines extracting raw intelligence ore to be processed into consumable presidential products for sale in the intel marketplace. Our hopes and prayers are with the dataminers and their families at this difficult time.” Amen.

Life in These United States

Well, life is different here in the US these days. Our fearless leader tells us that the creation of the Glorious Empire is going well. The enemies are being crushed and soon will be no more. The other nations will soon kneel at our feet as he predicted. But there are others in the Empire who suggest that our Emperor is not telling us all the truth. They suggest that his beautiful new set of clothes that I must admit I cannot actually see due to my not being worthy of my station are not in fact there. Our Brave King tells us not to listen to this rabble, and to occupy our minds with television broadcasts. He says that soon there will be a CSI series for every city in the country, and reality programs will allay our needs for having a life outside the regularly scheduled programming. I love Big Brother. Bang! It’s 1984 all over again.

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This is a test of the blog emergency service. If this had been an actual blog, it would contain something interesting.